Yearly Archives: 2016

Now is the time… to accept

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The one way to move forward is to look at how we have moved backward and stop making the same decisions.

It is now the time to really decide if we want to retrace our steps, or take a chance and evolve if we no longer desire to digress.

Now is the time to stop looking around and blaming the world for what goes around.     Now is the time to just look deep inside and find your answers and cleanse your own mind.

It is not time to look at how others are reenacting. It is time to take a step forward, not backward and check your own reacting. Let us not make a mistake and look to the other to try to make things better for ourselves not each other.

It is not the time to give and it is not the time to take. It is the time to merge into each other – a tight-knit fabric we will create. It will endure if we are willing to let go of what is “right or wrong”.  It will give and protect each one of us, if we accept harmony (the highs and lows) in this song.

We are not here to make judgments, we are not here to set others’ rules. We are here to hold our own boundaries and create synergetic tools that are used to work with each other and not to fight against.

We are here to live freely in acceptance not to denounce or to repent.

It is not the time to give anger and it is not the time to give hate.  It is not the time to bring ourselves to a place of hierarchy and not the time to debate.

It is time to release history and let the same old story go. It is time to bring a new kind of light into this never-ending dramatic show.

It is time to really give one’s own energy and put the effort in.  Let us make and create a story that would bring out love, not the need to win.

It is not that complicated and it is not that difficult. Just take a quiet step back and listen to your own mouth as it can do most of the work.

Our mouths are the tools that are leading us here and often taking us there.  Our words are the vehicles that navigate us wisely or into danger without care.

We have the ability and opportunity, each day to begin and to start fresh. Yet we continuously return to what we’ve been told and what our egos tell us that is best.

We go back to the place where we are hurting on the inside when we lash out at the other. There is no filter that we keep when even when it comes to our own friends and lovers.

We tell ourselves that we are not the ones, who are guilty and don’t look back. When we finally are forced to, it is often ourselves that we do find the lack.

It is time now to begin and it is time now that we remain.  It is time for the end of the fighting, the release of judgment and acceptance to begin to reign.

7/9/16

It’s time to wake up

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“And there is a place where we one day will delve, where there’s no more walking on eggshells.”   – Alice Phoebe Lou Berlin Blues Song

This morning I got out of bed and knew that I absolutely was not able to do a thing until I was able to really listen to the birds sing. I needed to just lay there for a bit and be still. I knew that I needed to wait and really not only hear from my head but feel from my heart, what the day had in store for me. It is not always something that I normally think about when rising to meet the day, but hey… not a bad way to process the shift between waking and sleeping.

The process between waking and sleeping. This is something that I have been exploring deeply and something that my entire body has been engaging in in a variety of ways without my mind or thoughts even contributing anything really needed or worthwhile. My mind, over the past few years has gotten much better at stepping aside and allowing for the body to do the walking and the talking. My body has now taken a lead role in this formerly highly directed life path. My body is not telling me what not to do so much but what is needed, desired and wanted for a more fluid and healthy way of moving through my day.

What I mean by this is that I realize that my body will simply not oblige if I have it any other way. You know the story, you sit for too long and your feet start to tingle and you move for too long and your feet start to ache and you sleep for too long and you get to depressed and you stay awake at night and you begin to digress.

It is a natural cycle that we have built within us and we often forget that we in fact have little control. It is the energy within us that will bring us to the balance that we need and that we want, what we know to be true.

I was sleeping for a long time and I was not listening to my inner workings. I was instead allowing the outside world to lead my moves along. I looked to friends and looked to mentors and I looked to others who were doing, great things and asked them what they thought.

Would they help me carry on?

Yet, it was not really the best avenue, nor was it really the best path. For they had no idea how my own body would react. Would I cry or would I laugh when a new challenge was presented?    I was left alone to listen, I had to make the decision.

I finally figured out that it was in fact, the only wisdom,  I held within myself and that was kept within my heart. It was this tiny sound. And it was this little part, of me that I knew to be there. It was the part I knew so well. It was the little voice within me that was always afraid to yell. It was the little voice within that would often not say much. It was that voice that made me do all the things in which I knew I would excel.

However, it is time, to get it out and let it now be heard. It is not about success or failure it is about the way that we unlearn.

So this morning I will share the poet and I will share the dancer too. I have no instruction in either discipline. I have only the audience and the witness that is you. I am not the kind of woman that will need a laugh or a clap. Just do me a favor and please be your self proudly, stand up and speak out back.

** Special thanks and gratitude to George Polimenakos and Kamelia Ivanova for introducing me to the angelic and authentic voice of Alice Phoebe Lou who inspired me to move this morning.

6/14/16

Ebb and Flow

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Ebb and Flow

In these last weeks of spring, I feel a sharp shift occurring and notice a great alertness begin to take hold of my senses. Is it because I am beginning to relax into and realize that the full cycle of life has begun again? It is now on the upswing moving into the rich harvest time. Anyone else feel it?

Are we a little less irritable because the light is filling our days for a little longer? Are we a little more centered because the ground is beginning to soak in water allowing it to regenerate its soil? Are we, ourselves, beginning to feel regenerated as well?

It seems as if we are like the earth itself. We are just about to give way to something new – we have not thought possible since the last cycle of Spring rolled on through. Is it going to be the kind of Season that we had hoped it would be? Is it going to be the kind of Season we expected? All the questions laid under a layer of dormancy, during the winter months. They laid in waiting for this time when they could really truly and fully come to the surface of the ground once again.

If we think about our own personal cycles like the cycles of the landscape, it may be easier to understand why we are constantly moving in ebbs and flows. Why does it seem that some days are better than others? We are fond of labeling the day with a preconceived notion of whether it was a good or bad day. Whether the people, the places and the things in our lives played a part in making our lives better or worse.

We often look to and rely upon these preconceived notions of joy and struggle to measure how we are doing along our way. We look to the joy to tell us that we are doing really well and we look at the struggle to tell us that where we are not doing well. Yet if we go to the ocean we are not labeling the tide as good and bad tide as it moves in and out, away and back to shore. It is simply ebbing and flowing. This is what we do too.

It is more apparent though in some people than others. Their ebb and their flow is rather dramatic and you can see vast differences between the back and forth motions in their lives. Again many inadvertently define it as highs and lows and others will call it the ups and downs. You may have even heard it as going with the flow or having a block. All of this is simply just the ebb and the flow – as above as below.

In this time of late Spring, early Summer, we will find that the seasons will show us beautifully how to maintain the balance between these ebbs and flows. There is always a fine balance between the two and you will not ever be in one without the other close behind your next steps. It is something that will be inevitable and it is something that we can choose to resist or simply accept and engage with in our own daily practice. How does the ebb complement the flow and how will the flow complement the ebb. There are many ways that this can be explained but the best way is to just think about it and decide for yourself. Are you even sure you know the difference between the two motions and how they play out in your own life? Are you aware of this cycle when it occurs? Are you putting labels or definition on the cycle as most of us do? Are you having a productive day or a day in rest are you having a day of alone time or a day of social gatherings? Are you giving yourself time for your home life or work life or an inner retreat? Are you out in the world getting ready to meet? It is not too difficult to see the cycle when you give it a peak. Just step back and observe and try not to seek. You will see that in a few short days you might begin to see, patterns of your own that resemble patterns of the sea.

You may not have a reason and you may not need one to, but try this out and see if it works for you. Give it a whirl and watch how you speak. It may come out in rhymes or it may come out in a way that you wouldn’t expect. It may come out in scientific text. The cycle applies to all that we are and it speaks to the way that we have come so far, to be at this point and to be here and now. We have lived within the cycle for centuries now.

It is not the way that we view our relationships and it is not the way that we often express our feelings and it is not the way that we are often comfortable revealing. But it is the way that we involuntarily move and it is the way that we will continue to prove that with each step that we take and with each step that we make, we will find the that the next will balance out it to equate the way that we are and the way that we will be. It is not really science it is simply the workings of energy.

6/10/16

Taking Notice

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There are many ways to attempt to write about personal experience and there are many ways to share through conversation and through media, how one finds themselves navigating though their own day-to-day world. I have taken a long hiatus from most of these avenues and I have been spending a significant amount of time just noticing on my own. I have just been waking up and really taking notice of all the little tiny details that are changing both within me and outside of me.

In this time I have learned a lot and yet I feel like I know even less than what I thought I knew when I began the process. There are so many things that are changing every single moment and every single day that I cannot claim to really “know” anything at all. Each time I observe something new it simply deviates the following day and then it will return to what it was the day before the next day. It is like a pattern that has no rhyme or reason and then cannot be even predicted to be unpredictable.

It is not the kind of science that most of us really enjoy or gravitate to. It is not the kind of science that leads to direct answers or beautifully formulated equations. It is not the kind of science that makes us feel better about finding a truth that was undiscovered for years upon years.

This kind of science is one of the inner psyche and one of the personal landscape. It is the kind of science that most would not refer to as science and yet it is still measurable and observable and can be proven with experiments and equations just as al the other theories have been tested before.   There is a great amount of time that goes into the kind of work that I am describing. I am talking about the work of the science of the self or the science of the soul. Some like to refer to this as psychology but others who view this work from different perspectives call it philosophy. Some call it the making and appreciating of art. Some even call this kind of science spirituality. Others call it the science of anthropology. It seems we like to categorize these thing as to make specialties from the specific areas of study. However when it comes down to it, we are really doing the same shared thing. We are noticing.

I am not a scientist in any of these disciplines and will most likely not become such a scholar of them, however I began to study in my own way when I was just a little girl and have been perfecting this ever since. I have trained myself to really just look and really just listen and for the past few years I have been training myself in the area of absorbing sense and touch and feel. It is not a very hard thing to do but we mostly do not take time or energy to do such studies. This science of noticing may seem insignificant in a world where degrees and letters behind names are more important than sharing a moment in time, conversing with the wind or giving to the garden in the backyard. It may seem almost like a waste of the time we have to slow down and do such things. However, it is the essence of discovery and it is the foundation of the creation and it is the stepping stone for each of us to find the answers that we all seek.

The science of noticing is within the realm of the universal and the personal and will allow each of us to reach our own potential.

5/15/16

Hey 2016… How we doing?

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This first week of January each year is, for many, a powerful time of transition and   expansion. For others it can simply be recovery from all the excessive work/play of the holiday season.  Either way,  its a good time to utilize the collective energy and effort to move and feel into a new shift or a fresh outlook in your own way.

A friend reminded me this week, that it is not always about the “what” you are doing and planning for the days ahead.  Sometimes it is more important to focus on the “how” we are doing and feeling right now. Without understanding the “how” we are doing or functioning in the present moment, we may never reach or accomplish that long list of the “whats” that we want for the future.

A key to new starts and beginnings is to remember that we can do this at any time and in any moment.  Pick your own calendar date, set your own intentions and let your own desires, abilities and capabilities lead you onward. It’s easy to get swept away on the bandwagon: “What are the best ways to spend our days?” It is still up to us to remember and distinguish the importance of  how we want to spend them.

1/4/16