“And there is a place where we one day will delve, where there’s no more walking on eggshells.” – Alice Phoebe Lou Berlin Blues Song
This morning I got out of bed and knew that I absolutely was not able to do a thing until I was able to really listen to the birds sing. I needed to just lay there for a bit and be still. I knew that I needed to wait and really not only hear from my head but feel from my heart, what the day had in store for me. It is not always something that I normally think about when rising to meet the day, but hey… not a bad way to process the shift between waking and sleeping.
The process between waking and sleeping. This is something that I have been exploring deeply and something that my entire body has been engaging in in a variety of ways without my mind or thoughts even contributing anything really needed or worthwhile. My mind, over the past few years has gotten much better at stepping aside and allowing for the body to do the walking and the talking. My body has now taken a lead role in this formerly highly directed life path. My body is not telling me what not to do so much but what is needed, desired and wanted for a more fluid and healthy way of moving through my day.
What I mean by this is that I realize that my body will simply not oblige if I have it any other way. You know the story, you sit for too long and your feet start to tingle and you move for too long and your feet start to ache and you sleep for too long and you get to depressed and you stay awake at night and you begin to digress.
It is a natural cycle that we have built within us and we often forget that we in fact have little control. It is the energy within us that will bring us to the balance that we need and that we want, what we know to be true.
I was sleeping for a long time and I was not listening to my inner workings. I was instead allowing the outside world to lead my moves along. I looked to friends and looked to mentors and I looked to others who were doing, great things and asked them what they thought.
Would they help me carry on?
Yet, it was not really the best avenue, nor was it really the best path. For they had no idea how my own body would react. Would I cry or would I laugh when a new challenge was presented? I was left alone to listen, I had to make the decision.
I finally figured out that it was in fact, the only wisdom, I held within myself and that was kept within my heart. It was this tiny sound. And it was this little part, of me that I knew to be there. It was the part I knew so well. It was the little voice within me that was always afraid to yell. It was the little voice within that would often not say much. It was that voice that made me do all the things in which I knew I would excel.
However, it is time, to get it out and let it now be heard. It is not about success or failure it is about the way that we unlearn.
So this morning I will share the poet and I will share the dancer too. I have no instruction in either discipline. I have only the audience and the witness that is you. I am not the kind of woman that will need a laugh or a clap. Just do me a favor and please be your self proudly, stand up and speak out back.
** Special thanks and gratitude to George Polimenakos and Kamelia Ivanova for introducing me to the angelic and authentic voice of Alice Phoebe Lou who inspired me to move this morning.