Tag Archives: Living Chapters

Living Chapters opens my book, my heart

It was only two months into Living Chapters when I received a phone call from a woman living in Boise, Idaho – Shannon Twenter. Shannon shared with me her desire to become the protagonist in her own life and requested my permission to take on the Living Chapters model to start her own blog. The idea that someone else wanted to and was willing to take on their own self-improvement project in this way was exciting to me. One of my goals for Living Chapters from the beginning was to encourage others to take on their own personal challenges and take risks. I had hoped that Living Chapters might provide a road map of sorts for others to take for a test drive. I just didn’t realize that it would happen so quickly. Below, Shannon shares how living out her own chapters and writing her own blog “Open Book” has affected her thus far.

I knew Beth briefly years ago when she worked with my students at Learning Inc. (a school I use to work at in Baltimore, MD). A mutual friend of ours made me aware of her Living Chapters project. While reading it, I found a kindred spirit of someone doing things her own way and enjoying the ride.

This summer I drove across the country to a new home in Boise, Idaho. En route, I had a conversation with my dad about the Living Chapters project and my own interest in it. He never understands my own hair-brain schemes/life decisions, so it seemed odd that I chose him as my audience to tell him about this project. But I was mesmerized by Beth’s idea, and had to share it. The conversation made me consider that perhaps this project meant more to me than I thought.

Living Chapters appealed to me because it was sounded fun, utilized community, gave a vision and led to a serious commitment in sharing and striving for self-growth. I believe in the power of doing this with others. It challenges the protagonist/me to get real with real friends.

I also wanted to try it because I wanted to learn how to trust. I had just watched some of my old patterns recently prevent me from taking a risk I knew my soul needed to take.

My friends are the crux of my life and I even a have hard time trusting them, and even more, trusting myself. I thought I’d try to start by trusting them, trusting that they love and know me enough to suggest ways to do this life thing in a way that could create new meaning or perspective for me. In essence, I believe that Living out Chapters could be a way for me to become more confidant in deciding what I need to thrive and stand up for, while simultaneously helping me to become open to wonderful new experiences. So I dove in. Lo and behold, I created a blog called ‘Open Book’ formed after Beth’s model and you know what, it’s is working.

Following ‘Open Book’’s structure has made me open my heart. It has made me trust myself. It has made me stand firm when my friends challenge me in ways that I disagree with it helps me adhere to my inner truth. It has made me trust and respect my friends for what they see in me and push me to do, and for how they choose to make hard choices to navigate their lives and hold firm to their perspectives.

It has made me look at things in a new way. It has made me look at my patterns, where they have emerged and took hold, and has shown me how sometimes even a simple change – and saying YES – can make me experience the need for a larger shift and get me started on a new course.

It has also made me appreciate my friends and the power of community. Not only am I benefiting from Open Book, so are my writers and friends reading, who are taking on their own projects. Some have mentioned that it is because of Open Book that they have started to write again, to paint, to believe in the gifts they have been given.

For me, Open Book, via Living Chapters model, helps me prioritize and calls me out to stay true to what makes my soul work, not what the rest say works. It also calls me out to shake those barriers that prevent that from happening. My goal is to keep learning from this process and stay true to myself while making the small needed shifts that will help the “hopeful and open” me become the dominant me. Thanks Beth.

Shannon Twenter

12/21/13

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A word from a pair of wild cards

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Agnes and Grace Lichtner were the first wild card duo adding their mid-month suggestions. In September, the existential chapter, Agnes asked me to take my meditation practice a bit further by adding days of silence while her daughter Grace asked me to not take my mediation practice too seriously by adding humor. Their wild card final touches on this chapter along with Amy Rothstein’s thoughtful challenges helped make it one of the most rewarding thus far pushing me physically, mentally and emotionally. In this post, Agnes reflects on her and Grace’s role in the Living Chapters process.

As per requested for some insight from us Living Chapters “players”, my daughter, Grace and I would like to express our thoughts.

First, to be asked to be a part of this endeavor by Beth was a shock and an honor as we didn’t know Beth all THAT well but we were definitely drawn to her energetic personality. We were curious, excited and anxious for the experience and are grateful she considered us an important asset to her experiment of living chapters for a year.

Grace thought it was fun and enjoyed being the wild card because it let her do something different and challenging. Grace also comments that Beth is a great hula hooper, for sure! The things we learn about each other!

As for me, I definitely feel I got a deeper sense of Beth as a friend, artist and human being. I have learned that people are so much more complex with their interests but have the common ground of goodness. It seemed to be proven through all of us who played a role that we wanted goodness to resonate through the experiences. There was an effort with positive intent about decisions, interactions with others and nature, desires and aspirations that all of us in one way or another exuded. Now, I don’t believe we all knew it would turn out that way but we DID want the best for Beth and with that came a bond we all shared and expressed. Even the “strangers” whom Beth approached contributed a positive role for this experiment. I was impressed that Beth was able to integrate unchartered players and it shows just how much influence and willingness is out there. So all in all I feel more connected to the players that Beth is friends with and how we have more similarities than differences.

We didn’t have expectations more than we did curiosity and I admit the month of logging all our usage in daily activities stressed me out and at the same time reiterated how much we conserve and take care of each other and our earth. Every little bit helps.

A lot of time and focus went into these months and it reminded me how much stamina Beth has and continues to keep for this project. She’s much stronger than she realized and I’m sure she’s reasserted that into her head by now! Every month has had a favorite moment but I’m happiest being able to keep up through the blog.

As for future plans for this project – I’m counting on Beth to come out with her idea and will support it’s manifestation. Course having a get together to celebrate with all players involved would be interesting! hehe

12/18/13

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Introducing the Project Manager

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Project Manager Moira Fratantuono is not only a great organizer and educator but also a natural community artist. She connects and corresponds with the myriad of Living Chapters players and has the rare talent of being able to balance the skill of implementing and directing a plan while at the same time remains open to and responsive to her environment and collaborators. I am very grateful to be working with her on this particular project. In her post below, Moira discusses how her role in the LC process and has mirrored or influenced experiences in her own life and artistic practice.

As someone who has watched Beth work her magic for years, I had long wanted to collaborate together on a project. I responded to her initial email assuming I would be a chapter writer, but was invited to be the LC Project Manager, and thus have gotten an inside look at her thought process and methods of engagement. As such, my relationship to the Living Chapters project is perhaps more intimate than monthly chapter writers, as I have signed on for a year-long commitment that provides a unique perspective into the “behind the scenes” aspects of her creative endeavor.

Each month, I pre-screen the submissions and track her progress in following her assignments. The monthly tasks I organize and publish on her behalf trickle through my own thought process, shaping my daily routine like water slowly seeping into the fissures of a rock: June coincided with my own personal health kick, characterized by running regularly and eating well (albeit in preparation for my 30^th birthday, not just general self-improvement); in August, I mentally tracked an abbreviated version of my own carbon emissions; September brought frequent thoughts of Beth while I sat on the floor, allocating a few moments to my own meditative practice.

Ergo, much like my relationship with our Protagonist, Living Chapters has re-shaped aspects of my worldview, not only in terms of the self-growth model Beth is experimenting with, but also as an artist, educator, and community worker. Conversations about definitions of community, the future direction of LC, explorations of what an online community constitutes, and utilizing the public blogosphere to hold oneself accountable, are now part of my rapport with Beth. As someone who, without hesitation, considers herself lacking in “tech savvy-ness”, I now contemplate other potential models that create genuine, reciprocated community through new media.

And so, in addition to my daily routines, the ongoing conversation I have with Beth about Living Chapters and her experiences has influenced my community-based work. One example is the Baltimore-Delhi Art Exchange, an online blog that I recently started with two other educators. This space serves as a collaborative project that creates common shared experiences between youth from both cities. Although I wanted to pursue the Exchange before hearing about Living Chapters, its execution and the ways I consider its impact are shaped by my experience as Program Manager.

These instances, on the micro (daily/routine) and macro (theoretical/life choice) levels, reflect how broad social trends are shaping both of us. The Baltimore-Delhi Exchange was something I wanted to pursue months before my involvement in Living Chapters, and thus perhaps speaks to social and cultural shifts in the conceptions of the role media plays in developing community. Similarly, as we get older, many of us decide to prioritize mental and physical health, recognizing the inherent freedom it brings us, or allocate more time to cultivating our interpersonal relationships. Although Beth is decidedly unconventional in her approach, there is a definite connection between her personal ambitions for the project and over-arching shifts in our collective worldview, both of which make the Living Chapters project intriguing because of its relevance.

12/13/13

Just finding this blog today? Read more about the Living Chapters project here.

Chapter Writers Reflect and Respond

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During this month of December I asked for feedback or reflections from all Living Chapters players on what has happened thus far throughout this project. I sent a series of questions to all participants to instigate their thinking and encourage their writing on one or more of the questions. Both of my Boston friends and writers Chapter one: Joe Gallo and Chapter three: Andy Cook replied specifically to several of the questions directly. Below are some of my questions asked and their answers.

Do you think this project/process has affected or changed me in any way for positive or negative? if so how?

Joe: “I’m not sure that this project has changed you any… maybe it has made you become more of what you have always been. You actually seem to thrive under the microscope you put yourself under. Maybe it’s because you are being challenged on a daily basis and seek to meet the challenges your friends have set out for you to meet. I think we said something about the “contract” aspect of this. I never would have jogged for a month if I hadn’t given you my word that I would. And knowing that this was part of the project, made certain things possible. Sort of like people who barely know each other will embrace for the camera… except this is far more natural. The surprising thing is that nothing seems grafted. Your life seems more whole, now that I think of it…”

Do you think this process is helpful or useful?

Andy: “I think this process is a fascinating way for you to challenge yourself to grow while exploring your relationships with your closest friends. The fact that it’s in public is weird, but I guess it creates the accountability one needs to keep a project like this going. I also support any creative endeavor you undertake, especially when it puts you in the spotlight, as I know that’s outside your comfort zone.”

Has this project affected you in any way – if so how?

Joe: I’m not sure. I think the month we spent in mutual participation was a good one and the fact that you came up to Boston during that time was a bonus… but it did confirm one thing. When I give my word to a friend, I most often keep it. (Can’t say always because there must have been a time or three I hadn’t.)

Did you have any expectations of what this project would be? How is it the same or different?

Joe: “At first I had no idea why you would do this or even want to do this. But in a world in which people find themselves stuck, this is really an amazing way to get unstuck, become less self-conscious, and really experience what makes living worth living.”

Andy: “I guess I imagined the chapters would be more narrative, as in, people would be creating stories for you to live out. They seem to me to be more like challenges than chapters, per se. But whatever, its all interesting.”

How do you think the month you participated in went? What do you think I got from it? Or what did you take away from it?

Andy: “I think it was rocky. I didn’t expect as much push back as I got, or for the negotiations between us to be so difficult and stressful. I think we were both pretty stubborn about it, but I’m glad we were able to make the compromises we did. In the end, I think our friendship was only strengthened by the experience… though I wouldn’t want to do it again. I know for me it was an opportunity to pay the close attention to my consumption habits that I always wish I made time for, and it’s had lasting impact. I try to remember the habits I started that month, and while I don’t always stick to them, I do sometimes, and that’s an improvement. My hope for you is that you have a similar experience. I also think it generated some very interesting conversations on my end, and probably on yours.”

Do you have any favorite moments or outcomes from what has happened thus far in any of the chapters?

Joe: “Chapter 6: Interpersonal Relationships. The interviews, and the write-up of the banjo player and the write-up about your encounters with strangers. Interesting that if there is an aim to something, strangers will back off when they’ve fulfilled their obligations. Whereas if you’re just winging it and talking to someone because you happen to strike up a conversation, things can go anywhere. I tend to think that engaging people to get something out of them is a crime. And I think your experience, as mentioned, attests to that.”

Andy: “I liked hearing stories of you trying to communicate via post-its and pantomime.”

What now? Any suggestions ideas or advice for going into the second six months?

Andy: “Several times when talking about the ‘opinion piece’ part of our month, you said things like ‘I know this isn’t what you wanted me to do, but…” etc. When in fact, I DID want you to make it your own and I was pleased with how you did it. I’d suggest you don’t assume people have certain expectations of you in this project (aside from what is explicitly stated, of course). It made me feel like you thought I was narrow-minded, or overly strict or something.”

Joe: “That you should live happily ever after…”

12/10/13

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Thus Speaks the Maestro

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The Living Chapters Maestro, Eric Imhof, has not only been contributing songs each month adding to the soundtrack of these life chapters but he has been creating an ongoing soundtrack for my life now for almost 9 years. Eric was the person who convinced me to actually start using the medium of “blogging” which before I started this project sounded more like a disease to me than a hobby. In his words below, Eric introduces himself and gives his brief reflection on the Living Chapters process. Eric has contributed to many blogs and is currently writing this one “Coming Soon: A Vast Desert” which I recommend checking out. Oh and his birthday is next week. Happy B-day Eric! – bb

Dear bb,
Let me first say that I, too, was hesitant to start a blog (and only did so originally to continue writing about soccer, er, football), mostly due to the caricature of the misanthrope in the basement eating cheese doodles while anonymously trolling people who’s only crime was attempting to make something of value. Although, yes, I proudly claim the attitude of the misanthrope, I didn’t want to be the kind of one that sadly and silently stews. And besides, who has time to blog?

At least that’s what I originally thought, but have since found the routine of posting something—anything: a picture, a quote, a poem, a small chunk of original writing—to be not only therapeutic, if that’s the right word, but also adventurous and mind-opening, even (or especially?) in its quotidian discipline. Having to write daily makes one have to think daily, and that’s no small task.

Thus, having hated the thought of it initially but then completely embracing the idea, I thought a similar transition might happen for you, being a like-minded Decemb’rist. And since we met through writing (I left some paperwork or something in your mailbox and asked you to write something funny in reply, remember?), and wrote even when we could fly a paper airplane from one’s apartment to the other’s, and have since kept in touch through writing, I thought it fitting that this chain of sorts would continue in the digital world– not as if all the posts are letters to me personally, but letters to everyone, or to the air… or to yourself in the future?

And besides, you had/have such cool stories from so many travels and collections and oceans and alleys and… you get the idea. How can one go on with all those fanciful tales all bottled up?

I guess adding some songs to the yarn along the way is my little way of crouching in the margins of a fun-to-follow life, chirping in every once in a convenient while, as a sparrow flying through one open window and directly out another (to quote Bede). And, while I don’t think it’s necessarily worthy of the phrase “coming clean” to admit that I don’t participate in all the challenges you have set before you, I do, from a safe distance, think about what the challenges may teach you/us, and then imagine tossing similar—but more introverted; I am not talking to strangers—hurdles into my own path, just to see what would happen (and who knows?). So while I’m not doing yoga any time soon, I am thinking A. isn’t it nice that someone is trying yoga? and B. what would an equivalent activity—physical or mental—be for me in the coming weeks?

As to the music: The particular songs I choose are (hopefully) apropos to something you wrote. I also think the occasional song should be something way outside your spectrum, just as the thought of blogging was to you initially. “Backstage with the modern dancers” was a reminder to breathe and let yourself get more comfortable with practice. It was also a nod to exercise. “Swim until you can’t see land” needs no explanation really, except to say that it’s generally good advice in writing and living. “I don’t care—I love it” was at first a joke (although I actually like the song; it reminds me of the London Underground), but looking back was totally what you needed at the time! “Clay pigeons” was written for you, c’mon. “Idle hands are the devil’s playthings” was a poke at conventional wisdom—like the idea that nobody writes letters anymore.

While I’m at it, here’s the next one! —A song that Ran Prieur (who writes one of my favorite blogs, which I try my best to copy) says is better than “Waterloo Sunset”:

The winter’s lovely dark and deep!

– e.

12/7

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this ship is shipping on…

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Looking back at the the prologue, the first entry I posted before starting to live out any chapters, I noticed that I wrote about the idea of “letting go”. I wanted to let go of control, and of planning my life in a detailed way. The goal was to learn to trust and to watch life roll out in an organic way. I was curious to find out if it was possible to be guided by instinct or inner direction, (or in my case my friends) while at the same time be able to continue to make distinct and direct decisions for myself. Through trusting my friends and trusting the process and also by addressing my resistance and fears, I do feel that I am just starting (after six months) to understand the balance that is needed for this to happen. Maybe with another six months practice, I will be able to utilize these lessons to help me move forward.

During the past nine months, I have been living on a boat upon Spa Creek in Annapolis, MD living as fluidly as I could taking each month as it came written for me, one day and challenge at a time. The Living Chapters guidelines that I set up for myself, pre-project, somehow made this floating lifestyle seem much more manageable. The rules and outline of the project gave me a distinct structure that I have been following as closely as I could. If I found myself doing something that seemed a little out of the ordinary or questionable (like jumping rope in the airport in Boston or hanging out in an isolation chamber) I could point directly at the project outline for an answer to why this was happening and it just didn’t seem that strange anymore. I was accomplishing a task rather than making an “odd choice”. And even though I have been asked by external sources to do all these tasks, the self-created guidelines reminded me that it was my choice to follow through with them whether I liked it or not. I sometimes even chose to elaborate on them.

Deciding to live on the boat before Living Chapters began, was in a sense creating a space and such a guideline to start out this adventure: giving myself a physical structural reason to live without excess belongings, a place to create new habits, to adjust to a more simple life style, and allow myself financially to continue working part-time only. Somehow diminishing my living space and eliminating the excess stuff, opened up new opportunities and new ideas. This choice brought me personal freedom and time to explore different ways of living. I feel that the process of living out these chapters openly is doing this as well.

Living on water, has been the closest that I have been thus far to the physical realization and feeling of “letting go”. I have enjoyed floating and respected the dwelling for its practical, simple, and independent living. The boat itself as a home base has kept me strangely grounded in these changing months. Like the rules of the project, it has given me a structure for being here, and it has held a place for me in Annapolis. But as the seasons shift and winter arrives, I have decided to depart, drift away from the dock for a bit and metaphorically sail south. It is time to practice letting go just a bit more and take on the spirit of “saying yes to what life throws at you”. I have been given the opportunity to try out a new living situation and have decided to take it. As of the end of November, I have abandoned ship and will be floating between staying at homes of friends and loved ones for this reflection month of December. And although sad to leave “Morning Star” and the marina in general, I am excited to see what the warm air of the new year will bring. In January, I am taking a hiatus from my job and will be setting up camp on a tropical island for a while. So in the first few months of 2014, you will find me living out new chapters on the island of St. Croix in the US Virgin Islands. Exactly what will manifest there and how long I will stay is still unknown. Only time and possibly the next few chapters will tell.

12/4

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December reflections

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In December there will not be a chapter submitted on the first of this month. I think that there should be a way of marking the halfway point in the Living Chapters project. An intermission or reflection period seems to be the best way to do so. The last month of the year is as good as any to take a moment and look back on what has actually happened during this past six months. Where did I start at the beginning of this project? Where did I start at the beginning of 2013 and where am I now at the end of 2013? What have these “Living Chapters” taught me thus far? What do I hope 2014 will bring?

Instead of running with a new chapter this month, I think it would be wise to take some time to let the lessons and adventures of the past six chapters sink in. I want to start the second half of this story in the new-year with a fresh outlook and new knowledge. Let’s see if I can use the collective guidance from the past six months to help me make some of the life decisions I will be making in the next four weeks (without directives from a chapter writer) This is the month of the year that I am allowing myself to make my own new year’s resolutions and reflections.

Chapters will resume as usual on the first of January 2014. I will return to each theme explored in this past six months with new writers, new wild cards and in a new location. If you are not too busy hibernating or holidaying this December please check in here this month for a few protagonist reflections as well as other Living Chapters players. I am also accepting guest posts about the project overall. Please contact me if you would like to share your ideas or thoughts about the process thus far. I welcome and will post questions, observations or comments that Living Chapters readers may have.

Thanks for reading,

Beth Barbush

12/1

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November: wildcard

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After being a guest on the Baltimore radio show “The Signal” in September of this year, our protagonist invited radio producer and host Aaron Henkin to be a wild card for November. He submitted his wild card task through a recording this month. Listen below to hear his mid-month challenge.

November Wild Card

seeking our story

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I have been seeking stories for a while now both in my personal and professional life. It seems to be the one thing that I never tire of, listening to people share an opinion, a feeling, a perspective and observing the way in which they share them.

Even though I have been doing interviews for a long time and have had some success at collecting some incredible stories, I have never been taught officially how to do formal interviews. I just started doing them. I relied on doing my best to build a connection or relationship with the person that I was talking with to help the subject feel comfortable and open to sharing their thoughts. Out of the hundreds of interviews I’ve collected though, I really have done very few recorded interviews with those that I already share a connection with.

I began this new month last weekend spending time with two people who I hold strong connections to, Emily Wheat (October’s Chapter writer) and Cosmic Jim Naeseth (The Living Chapters Referee). As I did not have proper recording equipment with me, I simply tested the waters in my conversations with both of them to see how the interview process would go with people I knew well and cared about.

I didn’t technically interview Emily, although I spent hours hiking in the woods interrogating her and contemplating on why stories themselves are so important and why we are drawn to passing them on. By asking Emily these questions, I came closer to understanding what I, personally, want to get out of the process of collecting and interviewing. What do I want to learn? By the end of our visit, I came up with a list of questions in which I intend to explore with all who I interview this month.

Focusing on interpersonal relationships, I have decided that it makes sense to just dig in and ask directly about them. I would like to focus on interviewing individuals who have changed my path (either subtly or directly) through their engagement in my life.

What can I learn from my relationship with these important people?

What have they taught me? Or how have they impacted me?

What have I taught them? Or how have I impacted them?

Who has changed the path or direction in their lives? How?

How have relationships played a role in their lives?

These are questions that I would like to seek answers to through my interview process. I am interested in learning about the relationships that change the path of our lives. Who are the people who have helped you become who you are or land you where you are or helped you shape your values?

After leaving Emily in the mountains of North Carolina, I stopped in Hampton, Virginia to visit Cosmic Jim. He was there visiting his family’s first home where he grew up. It has been about a year now since his father passed away leaving him the only one alive in his immediate family. This visit may have been the last trip to this place where Jim’s story began. It seemed appropriate in this moment of closure to witness and capture the beginning of his next chapter. A good place and time to inquire about his feelings about his path and relationships. And a good place to question myself about why I decided to drive here to Hampton, VA to share the experience with him.

I tested out the questions with Jim, after we visited his old street and the sea-side spot that he and his parents use to vacation at. I realized that these questions about relationships are not easy questions to ask nor are they easy questions to answer (whether you know your interview subject or not). It was more complicated than I had originally thought.

Years ago, I actually taught interviewing and story collecting to middle school youth in the neighborhood I lived in. In Remington Youth Community radio class, students interviewed their fellow neighbors and business owners in the community collecting the story of a neighborhood from the youth’s perspective. In order to get them use to the process of recording and interviewing, the first assignment I gave them was to interview themselves.

How could my students ask questions of others when they had not gone through the process of sharing their own answers with themselves? I’m now realizing that I may have something to learn by revisiting this assignment and interviewing myself first.

Before expecting the people I care about to answer questions about our life stories or our personal relationships, I would have to be willing to answer these questions myself.

11/5

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dear laura

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Your requests this month seem to have come at a perfect time for me. Throughout the month of October I spent a lot of time thinking about the multitude of amazing people that are currently in my life or have been in my life – for the “treasure a day challenge” I created objects with the intention of honoring or thanking the individual I sent it to for being in my life. I feel as though I am not quite finished with this process. Even though the month of making things is over. I still have a long list of names to return to and think about. I am lucky to have entered into and developed so many rich relationships with others and I am seeing clearly now how much this has shaped who I am.

I also spent a lot of time in October thinking about what my purpose is – what I want to do using my skills to achieve my purpose – what I do well and how I can make the most positive difference doing what I do best. I have not come to specific conclusions on any of this as of yet but I do know this: Listening, creating, story collecting, and building relationships and connections with others have emerged as the most important elements in what I would like to embody moving forward.

Asking me to continue to think about the people I care about and interview them seems like an obvious direction to not only continue creating in my search for purpose but it is also an opportunity to learn something more about my myself and others by examining the relationships we share.

Thank you Laura for observing these threads and sewing them all neatly together in November’s new challenge. You may not know this but ever since you were my photography professor, now over 14 years ago, you have acted not only as a great friend but also a mentor for me. You have been someone that I have looked up to as you are always creating, questioning, and appreciating the world and people around you. As a collector of stories yourself through a variety of media, you have helped guide and mold my inquisitive nature. Watch out Ms. Burns because you are one of the people I love most in this world and I will be knocking on your door shortly on a quest to capture your story.

I am looking forward to our road trip together this month!

Love,

11/4

Just finding this blog today? Read more about the Living Chapters project here.