Tag Archives: Health

September Writer Response: Amy Rothstein

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As predicted, sticking to the meditation practice was really challenging at first. For the first two weeks, I was grouchy, my body resisted and my mind ran like a noisy wild bronco. I did stick with it, kicking and screaming inside. Around mid-month, my thoughts during meditation started to lose potency. They became quieter; and while they still arose, they were easier to let go of. As a result of the meditation, I’ve become slightly more aware of my thoughts at times when I wouldn’t normally be. Meditating has also made it easier for me to moderate my consumption of (legal) substances and to be slight more disciplined in general. I have still been only meditating for 15 minutes.

I have tried to make a frequent practice of listing persistent, reoccurring thoughts, which tend to be subtle fears. I have found that proactively surfacing these ghosts helps me to prevent them from snowballing and allow them to exist if necessary. I plan to keep doing this.

As far as the one-year, five-year and lifetime-goals go, I created a list like this in January of 2012 and I took this opportunity to revisit it. Beth and I discussed her (and my) resistance to this assignment. While she resists planning; I resist commitment.  We agreed to only list what genuinely comes to mind.

I seem to be striking some sort of balance between being comfortable with where I am and also taking action about the future- perhaps that balance between what ET calls “Life” while working on my life situation. At this point it’s obvious that I tend to ask a lot of questions. Knowing which questions are best left unanswered is a skill I’m also honing these days.

So, where is my sense of humor? Do I take this stuff too seriously? This month hasn’t been any more serious than usual for me but I always do a fair amount of clowning around. Most importantly, having a disciplined routine to help address big questions (with or without answers) has actually made me feel a bit lighter this month.

So far we’ve covered “just being” and “doing” and for the last week I’d like us to cover “feeling”.

Just finding this blog today? Read more about the Living Chapters project here.

protagonist parting words

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The first chapter closes and many of you ask me, “What have I learned?” “Do I feel any different?” “What do I think of this so far?” Well the answer to pretty much all of these questions is …

Dunno yet? What I do know, is that the past four weeks have been a lot of fun. (Minus the absence of ice cream and chocolate from my diet – that is not so fun) The process has been positive, it generated great conversations, helped me widen my network of amazing people, convinced at least 4 people I know to start jumping rope and motivated a few others to start their own personal growth projects.

What about long-lasting outcomes? Hmmm…

After giving this first month a go, I am not sure yet if 4 weeks is enough time to create entirely new habits or fully break others. I can’t say I have come to any illuminating or drastic change. But the month has told me that I don’t think drastic change is required for progress to occur.

I am going to continue on with pieces of this first chapter, as much as I am able to, moving forward. The simple healthy diet is definitely a keeper. It really only took a bit of pressure and a few suggestions to realign my eating habits. I’m not sure whether its the actual food choices or the process of making these choices that is making me feel better, but it is working so l’m sticking with it! (with the addition of ice cream of course) I also want to stay active. I mean I can not fathom how I would ever sit at a computer for more than 2 hours again and NOT get up to jump rope or at least walk around the block? And a weekly yoga practice (if not daily) is necessary for both my muscles and my mind.

But, like Joe, running is not my cup of tea. I know I only devoted a miniscule amount of time to it, but I am pretty sure I will not independently choose to incorporate it into my lifestyle. When the doctor told me to stop jogging on the sore ankle – I can’t say I did not feel a bit relieved along with a bit of guilt knowing that Joe was still loyally making it around the track daily. But when he told me that I had to stop jumping rope, I felt really frustrated! This new activity brought me joy and just as much heart pounding action as the jogging did. I just found jumping rope a lot more fun and easy to fit in my day. I surprisingly found that I wanted to make more time in my day for jumping rope, swimming, yoga and walking rather than feeling like I had to do it.  So the jump rope journal will continue when my ankle is properly healed.

It took my bum ankle and an extremely unusual wild card before I realized the main lessons for June though. The take-away for me is this; if I become even a bit more intentional in my actions and if I truly listen to what my body is telling me through the senses rather than the surface, I will be and feel healthier. This of course was simply spelled out for me on day one, in Joe’s chapter, but I guess I had to hear it (or in my case feel it) for myself to understand fully.  With one lesson learned, I am excited about what the upcoming challenges will bring.

As the confidant noted, the most difficult aspect of all of this thus far, has not been any of these specific tasks, but the overwhelming change of going from leading a relatively private personal life to a very public one online. I have been struggling a bit with this. “How can I create a project about dealing with personal growth without becoming fully transparent and honest?” “Am I truly capable of opening up to a sea of strangers?” And “Can I do this without becoming self-absorbed or stuck on my own experience?” (I mean, I have never been one to post my breakfast lunch and dinner on a social media site before – I have to say it’s a bit weird) However, like in performing music – whether I am use to this yet or not, it seems to me, there is much more to gain than to lose here in sharing experiences with others in this way.

Joe used loyalty that he has to just one person (me) as a guide to help push himself around that track. I feel that the more people engaged in “living chapters” can only create a stronger accountability, and support system for me as I am faced with the new challenges in the upcoming months. So thank you for holding me accountable, following along and being a part of the story thus far. Looking forward to seeing you next month.

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Visit the June Gallery for more images and videos from the Body and Kinesthetic chapter.

 Just finding this blog today? Read the prologue for more details on what Living Chapters is all about.

Visit the Living Chapters facebook page for more updates, images and day-to-day activities.

tuning in to the senses

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I knew that Living Chapters would turn my life upside down, but I had no idea that I would be swinging so soon into such new heights, new hurts, and new habits in just two weeks.

Along with the request to add activity in my life, I have also been asked to become more aware of my senses and the affects they have on my body.  Doing both of these things seems to be providing a nice balance.  With all of this running around (literally), I first found it difficult to tune into my senses.  I thought the “awareness of the senses activity” could only be accomplished outside of, or separate from the physical activity in my life. I thought, I needed to stop moving, block out external distractions and focus directly on being aware to engage with my senses.   However I realized very quickly that physicality was about to throw some not so subtle sensations at me in an obvious and brutal way.

About three days into the new running and jumping routine, I became aware of some pretty intense feelings immediately.  First there was the huffing, puffing, and gasping for air that accompanied the first minutes of running.  That was followed by the occasional side ache in the gut or the prickly pin-points up and down my shins.  And then came the thudding of my heart racing into my temples and pounding throughout my head.  The sound reminded me that, yes there is a massive muscle within me working really hard to keep me alive and moving. And let’s not leave out my favorite new sensations since starting this chapter, soreness, stiffness and shin splints…. Yes!  I must be doing something right.   …Right?

So while my body is communicating to me in all these fun new ways, I am listening as closely as possible trying to decode them in order to keep some kind of balance.  How do you not over do it while still pushing hard enough to become healthier? I think somehow tuning into these sensations may be the only way to answer that question.  That along with doing what feels right to you.

What does feel right to me? Stretching! Stretching before activity, stretching after activity, stretching while driving, while working, during conversations. I love it, can’t get enough. (I have been doing backstage ballerina-moves when no one is looking. ) Because I love this so much, I have tried to integrate this into my day as much as possible.  In addition to the in-between activity stretching, I committed to at least 15 minutes of yoga before bed each night.  I have always loved practicing yoga, but have relied in the past on attending occasional organized classes to do it.  Now I have realized I can do this independently, taking the poses that I remember from my lessons and putting them into practice before sleeping. It helps me to relax and calms my mind at the end of the day.

Now, the current challenge to my “yoga before bed” new habit, is that I literally do not have enough room on the sail boat I live on to even lay out a yoga mat. I decided that outside on the dock next to the passing water taxis and kayakers was not going to work for my personal relaxation stretch time.  I did however luckily find a near by space.  I will say, without revealing too much, that the space is not technically open to the public but is empty and not being used currently.  I decided that stretching silently there for 15 – 30 minutes an evening wouldn’t harm anyone.

Desiring discreteness, I sneak into the space at night.  I lay the yoga mat down in the dark and although I can’t see, my feet easily find the edge of the mat and make their way into a downward dog pose.  In silence and darkness, all my awareness directly goes to each and every response that my body gives me through the stretches.  “Oh that feels good, push that pose a bit longer…” or “actually that cramp in my side says that trying to turn into a pretzel tonight isn’t going to happen”.  Deprived of light and external distraction I am left to focus on my muscles, my breathing and my thoughts. After the first 5 minutes, my muscles relax and my thoughts dissipate, leaving me with only the act of motion and breathing, which is really the essence of yoga isn’t it?  I may not be practicing all poses “correctly” (or necessarily “legally” in my secret studio) but it has been the best combination of physical and sensory exercises that I have experienced yet this month. It has led me to learn and listen a bit more intently to what my body is trying to communicate.

Another sensation that has newly arrived, is restlessness.  I have started to feel antsy after sitting too long.  Only after a few hours of sedentary work, I want to get up and do something. I’ve been combatting this by breaking up the day with quick active things (jump rope journal! or short jogs). I have also been motivated and inspired to try out new things.  Heck, if I am somehow running now (which I never thought possible) I could also pick up a few new skills like being a trapeze artist? It’s not that far fetched right? Well, I compromised and found something a little less extreme and much more suited to me…

Aerial yoga! Seriously, who wouldn’t want to feel like they were flying while getting a workout at the same time? I learned, just this week, that there is nothing quite like hanging upside down suspended by your muscles and silk fabric to cure a bout of restlessness….. I dare you to try it!

Post script: I want to give a big thank you and shout out to Chapter One writer Joe Gall, who I visited in Boston this past weekend.  He is taking on this new running routine with dedication and has inspired me to work harder at it! I also got to visit Chapter Three writer Andy Cook, who gave me guitar lessons and support with my beginner musical abilities.  The city of Boston itself simply gave me a great large landscape in which to walk for miles in keeping me active the whole weekend!

Speaking of the Senses… Living Chapter’s Maestro selected the song below to accompany me throughout Chapter one. I have used it to guide me through some of my new activities:

Listen in and tune in to your senses

Want to check in to see if I am keeping up my promises? Check out the Living Chapters Facebook page for updates on the jump rope journal, exercise documentation and my food photo gallery.

Just finding this blog today? Read the prologue for more details on what Living Chapters is all about.

off to a running start

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Ok – so we are only about a week into chapter one and I have to say, I am a bit exhausted. It might be all the running and jumping, swimming and stretching that my body was not quite ready for OR it could be that instituting these changes all at one time could be taking a small toll on my small frame. I am not discouraged though.

A few days ago, I made time between meetings and went to the mall attempting to purchase my very first pair of running shoes.  The simple process gave me a massive migraine. I’m not sure if it was the act of being at the mall (which for me is not a pleasant experience) or the horrendous neon colors/styles of shoes available that caused this reaction.  Although I did have an intense “sensory” experience, (high volume crowds, loud colors and atmosphere). I left failing to accomplish the task at hand and couldn’t help feeling a bit defeated. I came home nursed my migraine with water and a steady yet brisk walk to alleviate the situation.  I realized, while walking, that I may have taken the wrong approach in beginning this process.  For me, this project is not about checking off things a bucket list or just getting things done.  If I want to grow in any way, I really need to think about how to add or weave these new elements into my life in a way that makes sense for me. How can I make these new changes fun but also use them to re-energize pieces of the day that I had not thought about before. Instead of trying to find more time or new times to do these things, how could I develop and create ways to multitask and try to integrate these things into the time I already have in my current existence?  This is something I am going to work on in the upcoming weeks. To understand a bit more, maybe it would help to give you some baseline information on my current existence.

Starting point:

Body:  I’m 5ft 2 inches tall. I weigh 106 lbs. I luckily have never had to worry about weight or health issues.  Born with a high metabolism, I eat like a bird most say.  This however has allowed me to be under motivated when it comes to “getting in shape”.

Exercise: I lead a relatively inactive lifestyle: I sit for at least 4-6 hours a day between my time on a computer and driving.  I would not say my body looks out of shape but both an  8-year-old and an 80-year-old could beat me on the racetrack. I have no set exercise routine (nor have I ever). I probably burn more calories stressing about the fact that I don’t exercise. The unstructured exercise I have done in the past year includes, walking, yoga, helping people move? swimming, occasional hula hooping, dancing, and one dreadful zumba class . I can jog for about a total of 10 minutes before being completely out of breath and I can do about one pull up on a good day (about a half on a bad one).

Food: My diet is mostly healthy but based on efficiency, a budget, and what I can cook in a galley without a stove.  I have been cooking significantly less since moving onto the boat.  I have never officially been on a diet, until now.

Muscle Memory: I picked up a guitar in college learned a few songs, forgot them, and didn’t pick it up again until my mid twenties when I learned a few more songs and promptly forgot them. I’ve repeated this process probably every five years and still somehow only know about 4 chords.  Lack of discipline here has weakened my muscle memory.

The Senses:  As physically inactive as I portray myself to be, my mind is the opposite.  I am constantly thinking about a million things at any one time, often working on putting them into action.  In order to concentrate on my work or thoughts, I find myself having to “tune out” external sounds, smells, external motions etc.  For these “sensory activities” I am finding that I need to physically stop my motion to become aware of my senses. This stopping and concentrating in my fast paced day is a challenge.

As promised here is my plan for moving forward:

Goals for each day:

Follow proposed diet (emphasis on have-nots)

Upper body strength exercises in the morning, on the boat, in the car, or at the office

20-30 minutes of chosen exercise

Jogging (must do at least twice a week)

Jump rope Journal (everywhere all the time!)

Yoga before bed

Guitar before bed

Goals for the month:

Learn 2 new songs – play them for an audience

Guided sensory walks

Sensory deprivation activities (More on this soon!)

Want to check in to see if I am keeping up my promises? Check out the Living Chapters Facebook page for updates on the jump rope journal, exercise documentation and my food photo gallery.

Just finding this blog today? Read the prologue for more details on what Living Chapters is all about.