Category Archives: Chapter two

Is there really a symbol that could represent yourself or the work that you do? The Wild Card asked me this along with a slew of other intensive inner reflective questions this month. She also asked me to present visual ideas for this question and allow the Living Chapters audience to vote or select one that they thought might be a good representation my work. Thanks to all of you who weighed in with your votes.

Here is how people voted:

The most amount of votes were cast for this symbol.

Ironically this is a symbol that I gravitated to in my early years. It would pop up in many of my high school art projects, in letters that I wrote to friends, or doodles on classroom homework and folders. The eye image definitely has played a long-lasting role in my life representing the importance of being awake and being aware. Growing up, I felt that it stood for the ability to see what is right in front of you and emphasized the value of witnessing the world around you.

The second most voted for symbol was this one

The Labyrinth

The labyrinth seems very suited to my winding path. Labyrinths are often mistaken for mazes or something that one could get lost within or frustrated with. Unlike mazes though, there are no real dead-ends in a labyrinth only paths that guide you forward. Meandering, yet structured routes, that lead to new destinations. I see labyrinths as tools that can be utilized to practice finding one’s way out of confusing situations. I’ve found myself doing that more than a few times in my work.

So what do I think?

The overall process of picking a personal symbol has been intriguing. As I noted before, I feel that it is near impossible for any one symbol or image to represent a body of work or in my case what feels like an ongoing evolving path as I build my career. So for this reason, I gravitated to less literally visual symbols. I preferred the linear images that were left open to interpretation but yet held a rich meaning.

The Labyrinth, which came in second in all the votes, also came in second when I made my personal votes. I decided that the labyrinth represented how I have moved on my path more than what the work I have done.

My first choice to represent my work is the Rune symbol of Inguz. It seemed to stand out from the rest of the them visually to me.

In the Book of Runes by Ralph H. Blum, in which I first encountered this symbol, Inguz was described in this way:

“This Rune is akin to the moon, the intuitive part of our nature, with its urge toward harmonizing and adjusting in the sphere of personal relationships. The completion of beginnings is what Inguz requires. Drawing this rune may mark a time of joyful deliverance of new life, a new path. It means you will have the strength to achieve completion resolution from which comes new beginning. – All things change and we can not live permanently amid obstructions.”

The meaning appealed to me and seemed to describe the way in which I sought out work and new projects.

When searching further into this rune I found this meaning taken from the book “Zen Runes” by Maria Letizia Renzulli.

“As the moon is mirrored in the sea, as the upper parts of the this rune can be mirrored in the lower, so to can you mirror yourself in others, discovering your true power… “

This felt like the closest description to what I do. I work with people, find a personal connection and then mirror back that connection by framing their story within a photograph, audio story or interactive program that allows those that I work with to hear themselves and share in their own way. I don’t create new things. I simply witness the existence of them and highlight the importance and value to sharing them.

Only one person voted for this symbol but his reasoning just added to my original attraction to this symbol. My friend Steve Oxley impressions were as follows:

“It gives off the impression of potential – The design is simple yet complex, it gives me the impression of balance, as if life occurs in the apex of your past and your future. This is why it is good for a portfolio that’s trying to encompass your past in hopes of bringing the light to future adventures”

I can’t help but agree with Steve. I am still unsure of how and where it will visually show up on the website, but I have a few more days to figure that out.

7/29/13

Just finding this blog today? Read the prologue for more details on what Living Chapters is all about.

Images of the labyrinth and eye symbols were taken from the following books found in Powell’s bookstore in Portland OR: ”The Book of Symbols” – Taschen “Man and His Symbols” – Carl Jung

(wo)man and her symbols

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I have had little time (literally) between my travels from coast to coast and state to state to properly give thought to Anita’s Wild Card self-reflection questions. Although I did zero in on one of them in particular – selecting a symbol for my portfolio.

I am a visual person so I thought this would be easy. But for some reason, I am finding it very difficult. How could one symbol or image represent what you would like to communicate about your personality or being? If there was a symbol that represented me what would it be? Is there really one archetype that can represent an individual? It’s probably the reason I have never gotten a tattoo… I can’t imagine picking one image that I would want to permanently live with. As found written in an 8th grade journal of mine, “Consistent change is the only constant in life”. I kind of still believe that.

Although difficult to pin down, I gravitated toward this task and welcomed the relief and break from hours of computer work – sitting with a pile of books peering through pages of visual images was an enjoyable experience. Below are some of the first finds and thoughts on selecting an archetype to represent my individuality and the work that I do.

So what kind of woman am I? Is there a symbol that can represent that?

What kinds of images have been used in the past to represent women? Do I separately self identify as being a woman? Being a woman with a certain kind of career? Hmmm… not really

Do I identify as being a traveler? Well… not only.

Do I identify with the amount of money I make? Or where I live? Maybe the things that I own or the things that I do? No… not really. None of that really seems to get at who I am or what my work choices have meant to me.

Could an animal represent me? I am starting to feel like a turtle residing on or by the water for the past two years and moving my home with me from place to place.

Should I look to astrology? Being a Capricorn is supposed to mean I am good on land and in water (the goat/fish). It sort of suits?

What about looking to history, mythology, or dreams to find the right symbol?

It all seems way too representational and a little bit too specific for me, connected only to one thing time, or place, with predisposed meaning.

Honestly I would prefer not putting any excess pictorial images on my online portfolio in addition to representing my work itself. After looking through more symbols I started leaning toward those that were graphic and linear.

The number 4 for some reason has always been my favorite number

I liked this one for its meaning more than the graphic. Sewing a seed that would grow the universe sounds appealing to me.

Again, I am more interested in the meaning here, rather than the graphic itself. The idea of independent movement and migration is something that has always played a role in my life.

After searching through pages and pages of symbols in books at Powell’s bookstore in Portland. My friend Gabe found this book “The Book of RUNES” by Ralph H. Blum

The symbols in this book seem to hold both the graphics and the meanings that I feel are more akin to me.

The following text was taken from the introduction of Blum’s book

“Runes are of Scandinavian decent and are an ancient alphabetic script in which each letter possesses a meaning and a signifying sound. They were used for legal documents, writing poetry and inscriptions but never evolved as a spoken language.”

This Rune is the Berkana Rune. It represents Growth, Rebirth, and Birch Tree. “The growth may occur in affairs of the world, family matters, the relationship of the self to the self or to the divine. This Rune leads to blossoming and ripening. It is concerned with the flow of beings into their new forms.”

This Rune is Inguz. “It represents fertility or new beginnings. This Rune is akin to the moon, the intuitive part of our nature, with its urge toward harmonizing and adjusting in the sphere of personal relationships. The completion of beginnings is that Inguz requires. Drawing this Rune may mark a time of joyful deliverance of new life, a new path. It means you will have the strength to achieve completion resolution from which comes new beginning.”

There are a few other Runes in this book that I am drawn to but these last two are the ones that speak to me the most.

I know which image I would pick but I have been asked by the Wild Card to allow the readers to vote upon the image that I should use. Please visit the Living Chapters Facebook Page and cast your vote for the image in the ” (wo)man and her symbols” photo album that you feel best represents either my work or myself.

7/19/13

Just finding this blog today? Read the prologue for more details on what Living Chapters is all about.

Images of the symbols were taken from the following books found in Powell’s bookstore in Portland OR: “The Book of Symbols” – Taschen “Man and His Symbols” – Carl Jung “The Symbolic Quest” – Edward Whitmont “1000 symbols, What Shapes Mean in Art and Myth” by Rowena and Rupert Shepherd

the king of scrap

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Late last night, I left Portland, OR and took a red-eye flight home to the East Coast after a short-lived but much appreciated visit with this month’s chapter writer Gabe DellaVecchia.

I had put this cross-country trip off for too long. It seemed never a good time to go, but I had promised Gabe that I would visit him and his wife Makie, before they left this city that they love so much. So I decided to follow through, even in the midst of balancing my family obligations and non-profit day job duties. I am really glad I went. Even coming off a full night of no sleep and bouncing on and off planes, I am returning feeling ready to take on the rest of this month’s challenges. Sometimes all it takes for me to re-center is being around someone and sharing with one who really knows me.

Spending time with Gabe these past few days has been like exploring a time capsule I buried 17 years ago. He is one of the few players in Living Chapters that has actually witnessed nearly half of my life and all of the choices I have made. He knows me so well that he remembers some things more vividly and accurately than I could conjure myself.

“Oh really, I created a series of curtain and cloud photographs lying on the roof of the apartment building we use to live in? …Oh yeah, I guess I did do that…”

He has a photographic memory, but since I’ve known him, hasn’t really spent time making any photographs. Unlike myself, who has framed and photographed a lifetime of moments as an attempt at remembering all the people places and stories that continue to stockpile in the storage unit in my brain. I’m not that old yet, but the memories are starting to fade – I need a system upgrade and fast!

Making this trip to the west coast was not the only thing I have been putting off. After chatting with Gabe about the reasoning behind his July homework assignment, I realized that it has been seven years since I even talked about trying to start this “online portfolio”. Seven years had passed and I still have not done this? In 2005, I had gotten as far as scanning my photographic artwork and requesting a friend to design a website for me. We made it half way through before I got lost in another all-encompassing project and ran out of energy and web design funds and threw in the towel. Even though I am intimidated with Gabe’s task, we both agreed, it, like my visit to Portland, was long overdue.

Portland itself was fantastic. I am not able to go into how much I really enjoyed the people, food, mentality, feel and layout of the city because that would be a different blog entry altogether but let’s just say I’ll definitely be back and endorse the city full-heartedly. The thing I enjoyed most though was just being around my good friend.

It was the first time in years that we were able to really catch up and update each other in person on where we had landed on the map currently and on all the uncertainties and waypoints that lay ahead.

I feel more comfortable comparing notes with Gabe than anyone else on the constant set of transitions that make up my life. He is my only friend who has made an equal amount or more life choices and transitions into unchartered territory than anyone else I know. I am constantly impressed with his ability to reinvent himself and land on his feet in new situations.

This fact didn’t really sink in though until I started flipping through his masterfully organized “scrap books” that he has been compiling of his life’s work and path. As he mentioned earlier, Gabe secured a job in Denver and found little need to put together an online portfolio. Most of his career evidence is not visual and he was not in need of a job any longer. However, he is in need of making his load lighter on move day so decided to scrap together the mounds of evidence collected from his past endeavors into what are now 8 very large 3 ring binders.

I was blown away after exploring a few of them. It was like looking through an encyclopedia of Gabe’s existence from A-Z or in this case from birth to the present day. They began with his elementary days leading up to his 35th year and 357th job in Denver Colorado. On these hundreds of plastic wrapped pages you’ll find a path of papers and meticulously handwritten long notations. His traveling road starts with a high school trips to Russia and New Zealand and surprising leads him to college years in the suburbs of Baltimore City, a plethora of indie rock concerts, an ice cream parlor/beauty salon, a South African village, many Hollywood movies accountants offices, and a hot air balloon ride over Angkor Watt. (to name just a few of the random stops along the way)

To tell you the truth, I was overwhelmed looking through volume one. I was greatly impressed with the time, care, and details that were put into his handy work. (and a bit inspired!) These books are tactile personal and meaningful not something that I believe that can be achieved with a website. They guided me down the windy rocky road showing me exactly how he found his way from the suburbs of New Jersey to where he is today.

I was amazed and touched by the amount of detail and context in his books, and am honestly both a bit relieved and sad that I am not taking this route of scrapping together all the minutes and moments of my life in books. For me, the tactile scrapping is much more my style and the more enjoyable method. There is something to the actual cut and paste that I love oh so much more than the clicks on the keyboard.

I am thankful though that I am not piecing together the puzzle of my entire life this month. It may be taking me extra long hours on the computer building and editing my online resume but luckily I have been given the online visual express route from college years until now. So check in if you want and see that I have somehow made my second deadline of getting all basic descriptions of all projects up!

Phase one done! Phase two begins tomorrow – 10 years and 10,0000 pictures. Here we go.

Visit bethbarbush.com for recent written updates. Comment at the bottom of the pages while the commenting function is still enabled! I would love your feedback on this process.

7/17/13

Highlights from my visit with Gabe:

Our visit to “Scrap” the best recycled reused craft/school supply place ever.

Going through Gabe’s Scrap books.

Portland trip theme song from the Maestro: Swim Until You Can’t See Land

For more highlights from Portland visit Facebook Portland album: Including research for the Wild Card Response at Powell’s book store and the joy of returning to the Jump Rope Journal

Just finding this blog today? Read the prologue for more details on what Living Chapters is all about.

July: Wild Card

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This month’s topic seems a little different to me than the others. Probably by definition, order and logic are the opposite of dynamism and fun, often thought of as the antitheses of creativity, innovation, and artistic expression. Wait, Beth, why did you pick Gabe and me for this month again? Never mind, I have heard you say that you could use more order and logic in your life, but I’ve been wondering what you really want them to do for you.

For the record, what I said about order and logic being the opposite of innovation and creativity is not true. Creativity usually happens when someone has deep knowledge of her subject and combines ideas (particularly from different disciplines) in novel ways. If you didn’t have your background in community organizing, art programs, multimedia, and storytelling, it is hard to imagine you could have dreamt up this project. So it makes sense to include logic and order as a chapter in a project that is at least in part about creative purpose, your purpose. Using the tool of reflection, logic and order can play a role in helping you get at that purpose. Whereas Gabe has instructed you to bring some logic and order to your vita of experiences by organizing, evaluating, and communicating about your past, I will ask you to do some orderly reflection to create a logical framework that can inform your future.

Before I give you the wild card, though, let me just say that I know you are struggling on some level with the very heart of this project, which is complete transparency with whoever happens upon the pages you post. I think any sane person would. This project is a tremendous commitment in time, energy, and exposure. You are being more vulnerable than most of us would dare to be. But this is, I hope, part of the essence of why you are doing the project. It is only in honest, deep reflection that we are able to connect with ourselves and perhaps even with others. It is also my sense that reflection is where you are able to give back to the community that is supporting you in this process. To witness how you are growing, changing, and struggling makes this a human project worth sharing.

If you find yourself in need of inspiration regarding the power of vulnerability, watch this talk by storyteller-researcher Brené Brown. For even more inspiration, watch how conductor Benjamin Zander advises throwing up our hands when we stumble and shouting, “How fascinating!”

And so your wild card:

First, reflect on your life experiences by answering the following questions (I credit my friend Vanessa Harris with devising these questions):
1. Notice the patterns, what stands out loud and clear from all of your experiences? Not only what you did, but why you did it; what value(s) come through all of your choices/experiences?
2. If you had to give up one of your past experiences, which would be the hardest to let go of and why?
3. Who have been your mentors? What have they taught you?
4. Knowing what you know now, what advice would you have given yourself five years ago? Can you imagine what type of advice you will wish that your future self would give you today?
5. If you could try any other type of work for a month (assuming training and opportunity were present), what would it be?
6. Then, take the following actions:
  1. Based on this reflection, choose a few symbols that could represent you and your portfolio.
  2. Create a poll using the free version of the software Poll Everywhere to allow the community to vote on the symbols you have chosen.
  3. After receiving this input, choose the symbol that you will add to your portfolio. Explain why you selected or rejected the symbol the community recommended for you.

Your culminating reflection on Living Chapters should include a beginning sketch of your vision for what you want to commit your energies to next. I ask that you pick something meaningful and concrete, even if it is a stretch. Following Ben Zander’s logic, if the big thing you are going for is your vision, then you can always move the goal posts closer together or further apart as needed.

This vision can relate to home or housing, relationships (person, plant, or animal), learning, projects, work, travel, health, or whatever. In other words, what can your past tell you (and us) about your future? You’ve asked us to write twelve months for you, but that means you will be writing the thirteenth, right?

7/15/13

Just finding this blog today? Read the prologue for more details on what Living Chapters is all about.

Check out the Living Chapters facebook page to follow the growing pains and progress of the evolving online portfolio.

Visit the June Gallery for images and videos from the Body and Kinesthetic chapter.

navigating chaos

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In these last two weeks, I have peeled back the layers and examined my past creative and professional endeavors. Like Gabe, going through his pieces of memory-laden papers for his scrapbook, I am connecting the dots from my experiences, trying to map out the zigzagging path that led me to where I am today. Still camped out here in PA, I am missing boat life in Annapolis, but guess it’s appropriate that I retrace my steps starting from here in small town PA where I hail from.

I never felt as if I possessed much of a sense of direction, but getting lost always came naturally to me. I enjoy it still. Somehow, though, I have always found my way, whether it was by using the sun as my compass, or gleaning navigational advice from strangers at red lights and toll booths. I’ve felt more comfortable moving in the direction in which the wind was blowing stronger or relying on what felt right, more so than using any road map or guide-book.

This way of wandering through the world may not seem logical to most but it has worked for me. It’s the way in which I have found jobs, developed projects, made friends and committed to major life decisions. Organically… not really orderly.

I’ve never held an office job, have never balanced my checkbook, and currently have my belongings stashed in 5 different places in two separate states. (one of them being an almost sinking sailboat) Gabe’s description “a delicate balance of spinning chaos” may be the best way anyone has ever explained my unique lifestyle.

Oddly enough, I like to be dropped in the midst of chaos or unchartered territory. I’ve become kind of use to it, and am somehow more comfortable with the task of blazing my own path through the woods than following other people’s prescribed directions. And although there is nothing that I enjoy more than the unpredictability, freedom and diversity that my choices bring to my life – I constantly feel like I somehow, someday have to get my act together! Become organized! Get my life in order!

But when looking back, from this vantage point, it appears I have possessed an order and structure all along. It’s just taken the task of creating an online visual portfolio for me to be able to see this. Being asked to take a moment, reflect, and organize my accomplishments has revealed that I have had a clear direction in my path and an overlapping core mission in my career choices. I just seemed to have gotten there using creativity and instinct more than logic or order.

Why do I need to structure the chaos that is my life? Controlling chaos would only eliminate all the possible paths that I have taken creatively to navigate through it.

I tend to agree with Robert Frost:

“I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.”

7/13/13

Just finding this blog today? Read the prologue for more details on what Living Chapters is all about.

Check out the Living Chapters facebook page to follow the growing pains and progress of the evolving online portfolio.

Visit the June Gallery for images and videos from the Body and Kinesthetic chapter.

July Writer Response: Gabe Dellavecchia

logic lesson # 2

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I come to the end of this week feeling a little fried like my overloaded Macbook laptop must feel when it freezes up with that spinning rainbow wheely thing demanding that I stop what I am doing and take a break. “TIME OUT please!” it warns me “something is not working properly”.

Well I’ve spent these first few days of July spinning in circles myself dealing with a variety of faulty operating systems. My mother’s health, our healthcare system and my computer’s external hard drive all failing at the same time was enough to almost send me into my own personal system shutdown. But before this happened, I heeded the spinning wheel’s advice and took some time out.

I am feeling much better now after a relaxing Independence Day. I hid out with The Confidant who provided me with a beautiful backyard, a fire-pit and a sympathetic ear. Our conversations calmed me down and reminded me of a couple common sense logic lessons that I’ve practiced successfully in the past.

Sleep: Trying to do anything with little or no sleep causes meltdowns. Sleeping is not only useful for a clear head in stressful situations but also great for creativity, better health, patience and productivity. (This rule goes for my computer too – it also needs rest from time to time)

Focus: Focusing on one thing at a time is much less overwhelming than taking on everything at once. Looking at challenges one at a time is rational and actually doable. Oh, and letting go of the things that are out of my control is also a great way to focus and finish the things that actually are in my control. That’s a fun fact to try to stay focused on – give that one a try!

So after indulging in some good sleep, great conversation and good food over the holiday, I am ready to focus in and jump back into portfolio creation. In order to also give my computer a proper rest (and buy some time to fix my external hard drive) I revamped Gabe’s schedule for the process and created some new goals for his deadline dates.

First I will focus on all the descriptive writing that needs to be done for all main pages and work themes. (July 10th) Then I will dive into descriptive writing for all sub pages and projects (July 17). This hopefully will give me enough time hack into my hard drives, sift through, edit and organize my images. (July 24) And then finally upload a sampling of images that best represent all the work that I have described. (July 31st) woah… wish me luck!

I was somehow was able to make Gabe’s first deadline this past week and created a url and basic wire frame to build upon. www.bethbarbush.com

Check it out! There is nothing there now but you can watch as I progress and build upon it. Design and functionality is key! Your eyes and feedback on this will be very helpful. Looking forward to hearing your suggestions as I develop the site. I’m gonna need them…especially with editing down those 10,000 images!

Just finding this blog today? Read the prologue for more details on what Living Chapters is all about.

Visit the Living Chapters Facebook page for more updates, images and day-to-day activities.

Visit the June Gallery for images and videos from the first chapter Body and Kinesthetic.

logic lesson #1

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It took only a few hours after sending out an SOS to receive more than enough help from all of you. Thanks to everyone who responded with fantastic ideas for online portfolio hosting sites and organizing techniques. I quickly went from having no idea of what to do to having an abundance of ideas. So now I was only left with two questions.

1. Which is the perfect online portfolio hosting site for me?

2. What’s the best way to organize my material and get started?

In a short period of time I fell down the inter-web rabbit hole and got sucked into reading about every kind of hosting site you could imagine and at least 10 different websites on “how to make a stellar online portfolio”. This is what I learned:

Answer for question #1: There is not one perfect online portfolio site.

The best thing to do is use what is both user-friendly for your viewer and what is easiest and most comfortable for YOU (the person creating it) I thought I needed a specific web-hosting platform to create my unique professional portfolio, but realize that I am already using and learning on a web hosting tool (this blog you are reading is WordPress), why choose a new tool to learn when I am already struggling to learn this one. WordPress it is! I even found a very helpful step by step YouTube video on “How to build a professional portfolio using WordPress” made by a guy named Phil who is a Jerry Garcia fan (if Phil could do this set up in 20 min I am thinking I can manage as well) By the time I am done with this site and a year of blogging on it, I hope to be at least proficient at WordPress.

Answer for question #2: Keep it simple.

Page after page instructed me to pare it down! Less really is more. Just because I did a million random things in the past 10 years – doesn’t mean I need to include all of them (Phew! I had no idea where the heck I had stashed those pictures of me driving a book-mobile dressed up as the Wheels of Wonder Woman nor did I really know if I wanted to share them) I also learned that the simplicity rule – should run throughout the whole portfolio, not just with how much content I include, but also in how I describe all the content. Keeping the simplicity mantra in mind when mining through the archives of long-lost projects will be key!

OK – so my first major decisions are made but I still have Gabe’s strict schedule to stick to. Somehow by the end of this evening I will open a new WordPress page and make some initial organizational decisions. At least I have Philip from YouTube to show me how to do it. Thanks Phil.

So here’s my logic lesson of the day:

Learning 2 new online media platforms (minus) Learning 1 new online media platform = Less of a learning curve and a better chance for success! Which is also equivalent to a less stressed and more productive Beth Barbush.

We all don’t need my metaphorical math equations to know that less is more…. it <is> simple logic.

Please join me in this July’s endeavor! Start your own online portfolio. Here are a few websites to get you started:

7 rules for creating a professional portfolio site:

10 simple steps to create and manage your professional online identity

Phil’s simple guide to using WordPress as an online portfolio tool.

Just finding this blog today? Read the prologue for more details on what Living Chapters is all about.

Visit the June Gallery for images and videos from the first chapter.

Living Chapters

What would happen if you invited 12 of your most trusted friends to write the next 12 months of your life?

Category Archives: Chapter two

protagonist parting words

Gabe’s parting words

the completion of beginnings

(wo)man and her symbols

the king of scrap

July: Wild Card

navigating chaos

July Writer Response: Gabe Dellavecchia

logic lesson # 2

logic lesson #1